It’s the peas episode!!! For over half the investigation, that’s all Goren has, and Eames does him a solid by adding that at least they’re “pretty spooky” peas.
BA don’t take to being gaslighted well. Goren plays with a half-naked dead woman’s top (but not in a sexual way).
But really, there’s modern-day slavery all over the place. Way to play to the working class! One rich person is more obnoxious than the next! A lot of anti-anxiety drugs and ‘knowing of one’s place.’ Though it’s always the working-class that does the crime. Hmm. And the little orphan girl in this episode ain’t portrayed too hot either.
A lot of recognizable young actress faces in this eppie: the girl from Signs and another chick from (ironically) Guiding Light.
Yet again, BA show us what good parents they’d make when they prepare lunch for a little girl together – downright adorable.
Western PA gets a big shout-out on the “red up” line (that’s West PA slang for ‘clean up’ for those of you that don’t call rubber bands and soda by their proper names of ‘gum bands’ and ‘pop’, respectively).
Goren and Eames are super attractive undercover – Goren bare arms alert!!!
Goren watches hours and hours of soaps. Goren and Eames work overtime (after 7pm). The worst criminal defendant would be named something like Stan, wouldn’t he?
Clothes Call: By far (and per usual) Goren’s undercover wear – black pants, black belt, and black t-shirt under a tan open jacket. Then he loses the jacket at a house and the hotness factor in the room goes up twelve notches.
Quotable:
James Deakins: The evil stepmother had the kids whacked? By who, the big bad wolf?
A.D.A. Carver: All you have are peas and corn kernals. You're a few lima beans short of succotash, Detectives.
Goren: [shoots Eames a look] Ah, succotash?
Carver: Your evidence is anecdotal. I line up my shoes at night.
Eames: Why am I not surprised?
Robert Goren: Do you or your husband take anti-anxiety pills?
Ms. Whilden: In the first place, I am divorced. In the second place, that's none of your business.
Alex Eames: Sounds like a 'yes' on the pills.
Eames: We already looked through Sarah’s room.
Rich Lady Majorie: Well, I can assure you that I look through Hannah’s room on a regular basis and I have never found anything wrong.
Eames: Stupid us, going to the trouble to get search warrants.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Malignant 2.6
See what happens when you mouth off to the youth of America? They shoot you in the face and then they steal your drugs. Then they try to poorly imitate Shawn Michaels (old school WWF, anyone?).
Goren tries to convince a punk to get in the ring with him. Punk declines and Goren and Eames take out a pharmacy kid instead -- during which Goren actually draws his gun!
Goren’s doing all kinds of wacky things in the pharmacy. He climbs up on the counter (unnerving a pharmacist, but Eames doesn’t even bat an eyelash), buys a lighter, and holds it up to the sprinkler system. We get a great shot of him with the light – and something in his eyes tells us he REALLY hopes he’s right and the thing doesn’t flood the place (it doesn’t).
Goren actually turns down food while questioning a birthday boy drug rep, but (don’t worry) he accepts cake later.
In one of the most heartbreaking B-stories of CI, BA meet a vegetable growing widower. Goren struggles to find the words to explain that his wife died unnecessarily, and Eames steps in, but quickly figures out the widower and his widow did a agreed upon euthanization.
BA takes this to Carver as a hypothetical. Carver doesn’t like hypotheticals and wants it straight, but BA stand firm with their “do you think we’re stupid?” looks. But it does light a fire under their asses to get better evidence to hide the widower.
BA do some dumpster diving, too bad we don’t get to see it. Eames probably had something witty to say about it.
BA get mad props from a pastor. Oh, do they love taking on ‘pillars of the community’!
Theme of the episode: Good people doing good deeds by bending the rules a little bit. Eames doesn’t even blink when Goren suggests she heard ‘one hour’ and not ‘two days’. *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
Goren’s giving a nice speech on the church steps, but all we can think is this: Why haven’t D’Onofrio and Mark Ruffalo ever played brothers? I mean look at them – they’re Method acting twins!
Clothes Call: Eames is growing her hair out and her stripped shirt in the very last scene
Quotable:
[Goren climbs up on a pharmacy counter]
Pharmacist: Excuse me, but . . .
Eames: Don’t worry, he does this all the time.
Rogers: Nine families gave me permission to exhume the bodies.
Goren: Only nine? You must have some bedside manner.
Rogers: There's a reason I work with dead people.
Goren: You see, we did a little dumpster diving. It’s pretty nasty.
Pastor: You two make a very good team.
Goren tries to convince a punk to get in the ring with him. Punk declines and Goren and Eames take out a pharmacy kid instead -- during which Goren actually draws his gun!
Goren’s doing all kinds of wacky things in the pharmacy. He climbs up on the counter (unnerving a pharmacist, but Eames doesn’t even bat an eyelash), buys a lighter, and holds it up to the sprinkler system. We get a great shot of him with the light – and something in his eyes tells us he REALLY hopes he’s right and the thing doesn’t flood the place (it doesn’t).
Goren actually turns down food while questioning a birthday boy drug rep, but (don’t worry) he accepts cake later.
In one of the most heartbreaking B-stories of CI, BA meet a vegetable growing widower. Goren struggles to find the words to explain that his wife died unnecessarily, and Eames steps in, but quickly figures out the widower and his widow did a agreed upon euthanization.
BA takes this to Carver as a hypothetical. Carver doesn’t like hypotheticals and wants it straight, but BA stand firm with their “do you think we’re stupid?” looks. But it does light a fire under their asses to get better evidence to hide the widower.
BA do some dumpster diving, too bad we don’t get to see it. Eames probably had something witty to say about it.
BA get mad props from a pastor. Oh, do they love taking on ‘pillars of the community’!
Theme of the episode: Good people doing good deeds by bending the rules a little bit. Eames doesn’t even blink when Goren suggests she heard ‘one hour’ and not ‘two days’. *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
Goren’s giving a nice speech on the church steps, but all we can think is this: Why haven’t D’Onofrio and Mark Ruffalo ever played brothers? I mean look at them – they’re Method acting twins!
Clothes Call: Eames is growing her hair out and her stripped shirt in the very last scene
Quotable:
[Goren climbs up on a pharmacy counter]
Pharmacist: Excuse me, but . . .
Eames: Don’t worry, he does this all the time.
Rogers: Nine families gave me permission to exhume the bodies.
Goren: Only nine? You must have some bedside manner.
Rogers: There's a reason I work with dead people.
Goren: You see, we did a little dumpster diving. It’s pretty nasty.
Pastor: You two make a very good team.
Chinoiserie 2.5
BA gets the call because of a connection to the treasury department.
It’s the Tienemen Square episode.
Eames and Deakins make fun of Goren for being such a nerd, but they both go to the Met for a joint lesson in calligraphy.
Which, believe it or not, leads to, I think, my favorite secondary character Criminal Intent has ever supplied me with: Lord Pembridge. As the nice lady at the desk tells our dynamic duo; “He wears an ascot, you can’t miss him.”
BA gives the SAG guy a hilariously hard time about his bad accent, even Eames is like “what the f??” The poor guy thinks he’s on Whose Line Is It Anyway? He boggles Bobby’s mind in interrogation and it gives me my most favorite line that bears repeating: “You don’t look so plump and happy now, George.”
A frantic, chipmunk of a man thinks he can get rid of Goren easily and Goren’s pretty geeked that he’s obviously guilty.
Goren’s really entertaining in this episode, one of his best. Goren throws around antiques: “Give me the name, lady, or the camel here gets it!” And Eames thinks his bad cop antics are pretty funny.
Goren does a cock ‘n’ lean and him and Eames are big on the threats and mockery this episode. Dishboy drops a plate and they make fun of him while taking him away.
And SAG boy saves the day!!!
Goren’s dishin’ out homework. Low man on the totem pole looks to Eames to save him, but to no avail.
Sorry, kid, your horse and carriage toy is taken away and Grandma’s goin’ to the slammer.
That’s a priceless Chinese artifact, Goren, you might want to not leave it sittin’ there on your desk for all to see.
Clothes Call: The pink Chinese vest in Chinatown
Quotable:
[Goren gives Eames and Deakins a long spiel on Chinese calligraphy]
Eames: He got that off his box of Wheaties this morning.
G: Cut it out. Isn’t that the worst English accent you’re ever heard?
E: Next to the Irish Srping guy, it’s the worst accent period.
Lord Pembrige: I beg your pardon.
G: The mishmash of Cockney, Welsh. But miraculously, I think I heard a shred of the north of England in one of your R’s.
E: There are so many sounds in there, how could you tell?
G: You don’t look so plump and happy now, George.
G: This must be some kind of situation you got on your hands here.
Man: Why do you say that?
G: Well, you’ve loosened your tie, you got a drink on your desk, you got three phone lines blinking, and you’re chewing the inside of your cheeks like some kind of frantic chipmunk. [Pause] Are you under a lot of stress?
G: He smuggled that piece into the country, and someone stole it right out from under his nose.
E: Don’t look so happy.
E: Look what we have here. Forged documents.
G: Why in the world would you spend so much money for forged documents?
Ms. Mobray: I thought it would be fun to have them.
E: We think it would be fun if you accompanied these gentlemen down to our offices.
It’s the Tienemen Square episode.
Eames and Deakins make fun of Goren for being such a nerd, but they both go to the Met for a joint lesson in calligraphy.
Which, believe it or not, leads to, I think, my favorite secondary character Criminal Intent has ever supplied me with: Lord Pembridge. As the nice lady at the desk tells our dynamic duo; “He wears an ascot, you can’t miss him.”
BA gives the SAG guy a hilariously hard time about his bad accent, even Eames is like “what the f??” The poor guy thinks he’s on Whose Line Is It Anyway? He boggles Bobby’s mind in interrogation and it gives me my most favorite line that bears repeating: “You don’t look so plump and happy now, George.”
A frantic, chipmunk of a man thinks he can get rid of Goren easily and Goren’s pretty geeked that he’s obviously guilty.
Goren’s really entertaining in this episode, one of his best. Goren throws around antiques: “Give me the name, lady, or the camel here gets it!” And Eames thinks his bad cop antics are pretty funny.
Goren does a cock ‘n’ lean and him and Eames are big on the threats and mockery this episode. Dishboy drops a plate and they make fun of him while taking him away.
And SAG boy saves the day!!!
Goren’s dishin’ out homework. Low man on the totem pole looks to Eames to save him, but to no avail.
Sorry, kid, your horse and carriage toy is taken away and Grandma’s goin’ to the slammer.
That’s a priceless Chinese artifact, Goren, you might want to not leave it sittin’ there on your desk for all to see.
Clothes Call: The pink Chinese vest in Chinatown
Quotable:
[Goren gives Eames and Deakins a long spiel on Chinese calligraphy]
Eames: He got that off his box of Wheaties this morning.
G: Cut it out. Isn’t that the worst English accent you’re ever heard?
E: Next to the Irish Srping guy, it’s the worst accent period.
Lord Pembrige: I beg your pardon.
G: The mishmash of Cockney, Welsh. But miraculously, I think I heard a shred of the north of England in one of your R’s.
E: There are so many sounds in there, how could you tell?
G: You don’t look so plump and happy now, George.
G: This must be some kind of situation you got on your hands here.
Man: Why do you say that?
G: Well, you’ve loosened your tie, you got a drink on your desk, you got three phone lines blinking, and you’re chewing the inside of your cheeks like some kind of frantic chipmunk. [Pause] Are you under a lot of stress?
G: He smuggled that piece into the country, and someone stole it right out from under his nose.
E: Don’t look so happy.
E: Look what we have here. Forged documents.
G: Why in the world would you spend so much money for forged documents?
Ms. Mobray: I thought it would be fun to have them.
E: We think it would be fun if you accompanied these gentlemen down to our offices.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Best Defense 2.4
Carver makes the pre-credits bit! And he’s even all detectivey!
Eames has no patience for jailhouse lawyer-ing, but Goren is more than happy to have a hypothetical chess match with him.
Ok, Goren, even we know that “break fluid detecting wipe” is just a plain ol’ towlette.
Goren gives the cheap lawyer one “Ah, dude?” look, and the guy spills his (fake, lying) guts. Jeez, if I had to spend my free time with those caviar-distincting people I’d plan my own death too.
Eames, Goren and Goren’s big mouth harass a dead guy’s clueless girlfriend: it’s really quite a cute banter.
Is it just me, or is JoJo Martinez being played by Madonna’s ex-boyfriend, that Ponce de Leon guy? Hey! I just imdb’d him . . . it IS him! I guess the guy’s not a prick in real life cuz he’s been on regular L&O a couple times and then Criminal Intent asked him back for Blind Spot. (Real name: Carlos Leon)
A really great scene: Goren pantomimes a rich effeminate man behind his back for Eames’ enjoyment, but isn’t above throwing her in front of the train a little bit, personality-wise (but we’re laughing with them because we know our Eames isn’t one for ‘rumor and innuendo’). Plus, the looks Eames gives him are priceless.
I’d love to go back in time and tally the number of times Goren opens the door for Eames, he does it a couple times here. They have a quiet tete-a-tete alone in the dark viewing room.
Goren convinces Eames to walk on the wild side and keep Carver in the dark. Then, our resident bad-boy tampers with a witness statement, throwing the secretary he steals it from, and everyone else, a “I’m doing this, don’t bother me, ask questions later, I know what I’m doing” wave.
Well, when they do put the bad guy away, at least he’ll know his banking is in order as Goren and Eames are at a table balancing his checkbook. And we now know what kind of health insurance Goren and Eames have – they get reimbursement checks.
Wow, times they are a changin’ – who stops for $12 worth of gas now a days??? I doubt they were in a Prius.
Now, I know Eames is scrappy, but why is she always the one arresting the bad guys when her SUBORDINATE partner is 6’5”??? Just a thought.
Carver gets the whole story and vows revenge on Goren.
Clothes Call: Carver’s gold shirt and tie, JoJo’s sweaters made for him by his mom (I think that’s just adorable! And he stutters no less!)
Quotable:
Ex-prisoner: I just asked what would happen if Bonham up and died.
Goren: And you said it just like that, out of intellectual curiosity?
Ex-prisoner: [dumbfounded] Yeah, outta that.
Eames [leaning over a guy with a huge bullet hole in the middle of his forehead]: Gary Burke. Work ID. Bartneder downtown. He’s gonna be late.
Goren: You're really good at keeping secrets. Me, I just run off at the mouth.
Rich Effeminate Man: Well, some law partnerships are forged in the courtroom, some in the boardroom . . .
Goren: And in the bedroom.
Rich Wife: Oh, Jerry, knock it off.
Goren: Oh, no, please, my partner loves rumor and innuendo.
Deakins: The guy's a prosecutor. He knows losing a case is part of the game.
Eames: There's losing and there's losing to your wife.
Goren: And then there's getting your balls handed to you on a platter.
Eames has no patience for jailhouse lawyer-ing, but Goren is more than happy to have a hypothetical chess match with him.
Ok, Goren, even we know that “break fluid detecting wipe” is just a plain ol’ towlette.
Goren gives the cheap lawyer one “Ah, dude?” look, and the guy spills his (fake, lying) guts. Jeez, if I had to spend my free time with those caviar-distincting people I’d plan my own death too.
Eames, Goren and Goren’s big mouth harass a dead guy’s clueless girlfriend: it’s really quite a cute banter.
Is it just me, or is JoJo Martinez being played by Madonna’s ex-boyfriend, that Ponce de Leon guy? Hey! I just imdb’d him . . . it IS him! I guess the guy’s not a prick in real life cuz he’s been on regular L&O a couple times and then Criminal Intent asked him back for Blind Spot. (Real name: Carlos Leon)
A really great scene: Goren pantomimes a rich effeminate man behind his back for Eames’ enjoyment, but isn’t above throwing her in front of the train a little bit, personality-wise (but we’re laughing with them because we know our Eames isn’t one for ‘rumor and innuendo’). Plus, the looks Eames gives him are priceless.
I’d love to go back in time and tally the number of times Goren opens the door for Eames, he does it a couple times here. They have a quiet tete-a-tete alone in the dark viewing room.
Goren convinces Eames to walk on the wild side and keep Carver in the dark. Then, our resident bad-boy tampers with a witness statement, throwing the secretary he steals it from, and everyone else, a “I’m doing this, don’t bother me, ask questions later, I know what I’m doing” wave.
Well, when they do put the bad guy away, at least he’ll know his banking is in order as Goren and Eames are at a table balancing his checkbook. And we now know what kind of health insurance Goren and Eames have – they get reimbursement checks.
Wow, times they are a changin’ – who stops for $12 worth of gas now a days??? I doubt they were in a Prius.
Now, I know Eames is scrappy, but why is she always the one arresting the bad guys when her SUBORDINATE partner is 6’5”??? Just a thought.
Carver gets the whole story and vows revenge on Goren.
Clothes Call: Carver’s gold shirt and tie, JoJo’s sweaters made for him by his mom (I think that’s just adorable! And he stutters no less!)
Quotable:
Ex-prisoner: I just asked what would happen if Bonham up and died.
Goren: And you said it just like that, out of intellectual curiosity?
Ex-prisoner: [dumbfounded] Yeah, outta that.
Eames [leaning over a guy with a huge bullet hole in the middle of his forehead]: Gary Burke. Work ID. Bartneder downtown. He’s gonna be late.
Goren: You're really good at keeping secrets. Me, I just run off at the mouth.
Rich Effeminate Man: Well, some law partnerships are forged in the courtroom, some in the boardroom . . .
Goren: And in the bedroom.
Rich Wife: Oh, Jerry, knock it off.
Goren: Oh, no, please, my partner loves rumor and innuendo.
Deakins: The guy's a prosecutor. He knows losing a case is part of the game.
Eames: There's losing and there's losing to your wife.
Goren: And then there's getting your balls handed to you on a platter.
Anti-Thesis 2.3
*SIGH*
So it begins.
Personally, I’m not a fan of Nicole Wallace and her storyline(s) AT ALL, but for those of you who are . . . *one last SIGH, I’ll try to contain myself* here we go . . .
Goren reads between the lines and gives Eames a quick history lesson and impresses a rappin’ prof, but gets his ass handed to him on an Ezra Pound question.
Goren and Eames raid a professional student’s makeshift dorm and Goren (who has no room to talk whatsoever) critiques his eating habits – but we forgive him cuz he gives Eames a big cute grin as he pops snacks into his mouth – and Eames takes a potshot as well, aiming for the kid’s IQ. And if that wasn’t enough they get all up on his footwear (a really great scene). Apparently, boys, you’re not supposed to wear tan shoes to a wedding – who knew? (Well, Eames, our resident fashion expert, of course!) Hey! In his defense, maybe it was a daytime ceremony!
Which brings us to . . .
Shoe shopping! One of THE most entertaining scenes of the series (any Goren/Eames undercover scene is notable). But perhaps our team should’ve taken a minute to discuss their backstory: they claim they’re married, but Goren is obviously batting for the other team (but really, the unbelievable designer-brand name-check from the previous scene makes us wonder ourselves . . .) But this isn’t the first or last time Goren will equate going undercover with bringing out his feminine side . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that. But, really, watch it, the scene commentates itself.
Nicole and Goren are off on cloud nine together, but Eames breaks the spell and gets down to business. Behind her, Bobby blinks as if coming out of a daze. Nicole name dropped a couple of opera people and Bobby was a goner. Despite Nicole giving Goren all the credit, it’s Eames that catches onto the lesbian relationship.
Robert O. Goren better watch his bank account, he was born August 20, 1961. His Social Security number is 845-67-3906. But we hope his identity isn’t stolen, cuz he such a good boy: Goren visits his mother once a week and telephones her every day.
Professor Nicole and Goren discuss “the dogged unrelenting pursuit of evil” but Nicole thinks it’s all just one big pissing contest – read Moby Dick, people. They discuss Goren’s ‘parsnips’ and what ‘butters’ them and later, Goren does an imitation accent.
Goren and Nicole play a tense, depressing game of ‘tit for tat’ but we’ll call a spade a spade – it was a lover’s spat and they might as well have been having it under the Eiffel Tower. And they speak to each other in a high-literate language only they understand.
But Eames brings him back down to earth in the last line of the episode.
Ok, okay, that wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it was.
Clothes Call: Eames’ deep red coat and leather trench, and she’s rockin’ a Seinfeld pirate shirt in interrogation. And I really like the length of Goren's hair here.
Quotable:
Nicole Wallace: Very good, detective, did you memorize the Oxford tour guide on your way here?
Robert Goren: No. No, I spent a couple of weeks there once… chasing co-eds.
Nicole Wallace: It took you that long to catch one? I'm shocked.
Robert Goren: Well, that's very funny, professor.
Alex: Men only let two kinds of women buy shoes for them, their mommies and their significant others.
Mark Bayley: I didn't tell them about the shoes. It's that big detective; he noticed them.
Nicole Wallace: That 'big detective' is smart.
Robert Goren: Sometimes a whale is just a whale.
Nicole Wallace: Nothing is ever just something. Not even detectives.
Alex Eames: (to Goren about Wallace) What'd you think, she'd have scones and a glass of sherry for us?
So it begins.
Personally, I’m not a fan of Nicole Wallace and her storyline(s) AT ALL, but for those of you who are . . . *one last SIGH, I’ll try to contain myself* here we go . . .
Goren reads between the lines and gives Eames a quick history lesson and impresses a rappin’ prof, but gets his ass handed to him on an Ezra Pound question.
Goren and Eames raid a professional student’s makeshift dorm and Goren (who has no room to talk whatsoever) critiques his eating habits – but we forgive him cuz he gives Eames a big cute grin as he pops snacks into his mouth – and Eames takes a potshot as well, aiming for the kid’s IQ. And if that wasn’t enough they get all up on his footwear (a really great scene). Apparently, boys, you’re not supposed to wear tan shoes to a wedding – who knew? (Well, Eames, our resident fashion expert, of course!) Hey! In his defense, maybe it was a daytime ceremony!
Which brings us to . . .
Shoe shopping! One of THE most entertaining scenes of the series (any Goren/Eames undercover scene is notable). But perhaps our team should’ve taken a minute to discuss their backstory: they claim they’re married, but Goren is obviously batting for the other team (but really, the unbelievable designer-brand name-check from the previous scene makes us wonder ourselves . . .) But this isn’t the first or last time Goren will equate going undercover with bringing out his feminine side . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that. But, really, watch it, the scene commentates itself.
Nicole and Goren are off on cloud nine together, but Eames breaks the spell and gets down to business. Behind her, Bobby blinks as if coming out of a daze. Nicole name dropped a couple of opera people and Bobby was a goner. Despite Nicole giving Goren all the credit, it’s Eames that catches onto the lesbian relationship.
Robert O. Goren better watch his bank account, he was born August 20, 1961. His Social Security number is 845-67-3906. But we hope his identity isn’t stolen, cuz he such a good boy: Goren visits his mother once a week and telephones her every day.
Professor Nicole and Goren discuss “the dogged unrelenting pursuit of evil” but Nicole thinks it’s all just one big pissing contest – read Moby Dick, people. They discuss Goren’s ‘parsnips’ and what ‘butters’ them and later, Goren does an imitation accent.
Goren and Nicole play a tense, depressing game of ‘tit for tat’ but we’ll call a spade a spade – it was a lover’s spat and they might as well have been having it under the Eiffel Tower. And they speak to each other in a high-literate language only they understand.
But Eames brings him back down to earth in the last line of the episode.
Ok, okay, that wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it was.
Clothes Call: Eames’ deep red coat and leather trench, and she’s rockin’ a Seinfeld pirate shirt in interrogation. And I really like the length of Goren's hair here.
Quotable:
Nicole Wallace: Very good, detective, did you memorize the Oxford tour guide on your way here?
Robert Goren: No. No, I spent a couple of weeks there once… chasing co-eds.
Nicole Wallace: It took you that long to catch one? I'm shocked.
Robert Goren: Well, that's very funny, professor.
Alex: Men only let two kinds of women buy shoes for them, their mommies and their significant others.
Mark Bayley: I didn't tell them about the shoes. It's that big detective; he noticed them.
Nicole Wallace: That 'big detective' is smart.
Robert Goren: Sometimes a whale is just a whale.
Nicole Wallace: Nothing is ever just something. Not even detectives.
Alex Eames: (to Goren about Wallace) What'd you think, she'd have scones and a glass of sherry for us?
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