F.P.S. 3.10

One word: Yearning. 

This is a great episode. Not only are there computer geeks galore (it's the Facebook origin story meets computer gaming), but this episode is a love letter to Eames, who doesn't even appear. We learn more about Goren this episode than any other, I'd argue.

Nerds! Only one thing can stop a nerd from having sex with a real live willing girl ... computer hackers! Raymond the computer nerds is pumped! Check out those guns!

He may have been handling it better in the previous episodes, but we know Goren's missing Eames ... cuz he pretends to kill Bishop. (Don't worry Goren, we do too sometimes.) And she's incredibly offended. We're pretty sure Goren has never re-enacted a murder using Eames as the stand-in victim. We imagine he might have in the beginning of their partnership, but she put a stop to that right quick!

Goren dances Carver around the ballroom, we mean, Deakins' office. Goren's "predilection" (what a nice way to put it!) for "hounding deadbeat dads" is obvious and well-know to everyone.

It's George from Grey's Anatomy. We'd be more excited, but we really hated George in Grey's Anatomy.

Goren flips out on the wrong nerd. Then we have the greatest couple of Goren/Eames scenes that Eames isn't even in. Goren looks longingly across his desk at Eames' empty chair, with tears in his eyes. He crumples up the paper in front of him and throws it at Eames' chair in frustration, then quickly looks around to see if anyone saw. There's a Santa head mug on her desk and a framed photo we can't tell who or what of.

Then Goren has a meltdown on Bishop. Which comes as a shock to her, because the two of them were having a pretty good time together the last couple cases and were really getting along until this case. Obviously, Goren has hit his limit of no Eames (as suggested earlier in the episode when he crosses the line by pretending to kill Bishop). We have to deal with She Who Shall Not Be Named being talked about, but we get Wally Stevens AND Eames name dropped! Then he verbally slaps Bishop in the face: Eames would've known.

After his meltdown, he looks at the floor, then up at Bishop, then back at the floor, like, I'm sorry, I'm a little lost boy without my real partner. Don't hate me.

Check out the Quotable section for the full write up, but here are some highlights from the episode: Eames would've known. It's about yearning. He misses his partner. Panic is a primitive emotion. That's how he felt without his partner. 

The interrogation in the court room hallway is really just Goren working out his own sh*t: Because he's your only audience. He's the only opinion that you've ever trusted. You needed Jack back, you know.  

But his anger and frustration and complete loss at not having Eames comes to a calm fruition with this line: If my partner was putting me through that, abandoning me, leaving me vulnerable, impotent, for a nobody -- That's unforgivable. But, he realizes, Eames didn't leave him for a nobody ... she left him temporarily to have a baby. And that's okay. He's rather proud and excited at the end ... that guy's partner left him for a nobody ... but mine didn't.

In the last scene, Eames texts? beeps? Bobby to let him know that she'd given birth (and, consequently, was on her way back to him).

Clothes Call: Raymond the Computer Nerd's lack of shirt sleeves. George's hoodie over dress shirt .. he looks like he's wearing a cape and is about to get his hair cut. The Parson's School of Design student's whole outfit.

Quotable:

Bishop: Overdue bills. No wonder she stays at home eating crackers.

Goren: What are you running here, Raymond, a group home for computers?

Bishop: A computer geek who can clone himself. Scary thought.

Deakins: When we catch this guy he's gonna owe me a bottle of aspirin.

Zach [the police computer guy]: Gotcha monkey brain!

Goren: Croydon. McVee is another Croydon.
Bishop: Who's Croydon?
Goren: He ran out on his wife. Hitchens used him to get at me. And the pattern, one, one, two, it's Wally Stevens.
Bishop: I don't know who you're talking about.
Goren: He was an actuary. He had a pattern of five. Five notes. Five ...pins. Eames would've known.

Goren: It's about yearning. He misses his partner.

Carver: The testimony dealt with your predilection for detecting obscure patterns.
Deakins: Far as your predilection for hounding deadbeat dads, all anyone had to do was read a couple of old newspapers.

Bishop: Neil might have been jealous of the time Jack spent online with Corinne.
Carver: He killed her to drive his partner back into his arms? That's almost juvenile.
Goren: It's primitive. Panic is a primitive emotion. That's how he felt without his partner.

Cadogan: You knew?
Neil: I didn't tell you because it was a distraction. There's nothing to it.
Cadogan: Nothing? I'm being arrested!

Bishop: I don't know, it meant nothing unless Jack said it meant something.
Goren: Because he's your only audience. He's the only opinion that you've ever trusted. You needed Jack back, you know.

Goren: If my partner was putting me through that, abandoning me, leaving me vulnerable, impotent, for a nobody -- That's unforgivable.

Goren: Seven pounds, eight ounces.
Bishop: It's great. You -- You should call her. I'll handle the booking. 

Happy Family 3.9

Eames! This is your case! Someone broke in and tried to steal stamps! It's the cut and dry robbery case you've always wanted! What? You say it's not that simple??? Rats! Eames! We at least need you for all these clothes flying around this case!

What a difference a few weeks makes. It’s like Eames was never even here. Goren and Bishop are so buddy-buddy and slick together. Goren makes little comments, Bishop smiles. Goren says leading sentences, Bishop finishes his interrogation correctly.

And honestly, I’M started to forget what it was like when it was just Goren and Eames versus the world!!!

This has got to be one of the most unsettling cold openers. Little boy singing “Ave Maria,” screen pan to the little boy’s father … WITH HIS FACE SMASHED IN!

But just in case we were forgetting what her face looked like, Eames, our resident fashion expert, is at Police Plaza to do a clothes inspection. 

Goren orders people to do a lot of things. Goren tries to finger Eddie Malloy's jewelry, but Fast Eddie's too fast. So Goren sits there and think-pouts for a while and lets Bishop do the interrogating.

We visit what is arguably the best named place we've even been to in an investigation: Fiesta Wigs Galore! And we don't spend nearly enough time there! We also barely get to meet Really Cool Secure Key Company Guy With Cool Shades. 

ugh! I am so SICK of Bishop being given all of Eames' lines and characteristics. She knows where the lady of the house hides her keys, she knows how to work a computer, blah blah blah.

And is that Goren playing a GAMEBOY!? Yes. Yes it is. Goren picks up and plays a Gameboy in the middle of an investigation. That is awesome. It is Yoshi???? My favorite Gameboy game was Yoshi.

Carver arranges a family reunion. Parents, do not badmouth each other in front of your children, they may kill one of you.

Clothes Call: Bishop's cable knit sweater. Bishop's striped pants. Goren's tieless, undone shirt. All those fiesta wigs! The glasses on Really Cool Secure Key Company Guy With Cool Shades.

Quotable: 

Eames: Well, that [bloody shirt] fits Eddie Malloy.

Deakins: Fits me too.

Eames: Yeah, but you're not dating a widow with $40 million. 

Eddie Malloy: I know they keep money in banks, but I don't break in and take it. 

Bishop: Well, that's admirable.

Goren: She pooched your alibi. 

Goren: If Paula knew, that would end your hopes for marrying her and -- and getting half of-of Conners's money. No, wait. Uh, he's dead, so she gets all his money.

Dr. Friedman: I was just making conversation. I don't know anything about her condition.

Goren: Lucky for us, Dr. Friedman, uh, you're a terrible liar.

Carver: Didn't you tell me they were elliminating suspects? 

Deakins: That's what I thought they were doing.

Sound Bodies 3.8

Goren and Bishop vs. teenagers with TOO MANY FEELINGS!!!

People are being poisoned left and right ... is it the sugar-free cookies!? We're VERY sad to hear that the sprightly old man in the back was one of the victims.

Connie will look familiar cuz we'll see him later again in the series.

Goren and Bishop got themselves "a live one." Bishop's trying to be cute and witty. Like they can give her what is obviously an Eames line and we'd all be fooled.

Goren almost laughs at "little heathen bastards."

Eames! Your here, with your desk facing Goren, being all comfortable and nonplussed!

Goren smells and eats glue. Bishop isn't really weirded out by him anymore. She's starting to convert to the Church of Goren. He suggests something, she's on it, he wants to explore, she runs interference. He even invites her to go somewhere with him like he always invites Eames! We don't think Eames is jealous though, she probably thinks it's cute. Only Eames doesn't lose herself in Goren like Bishop does. Eames is her own lady. 

Tina the Teenager gets Goren all confused. Claudia the Teenager - why are you hanging out with those Mean Girls??? You are better than that! Stay at home with your dad watching movies and eating your popcorn! Take care of your dogs! 

Carver is actually super helpful this case and hangs out with Goren and Bishop.

Connie slaps Goren! But Goren plays it like a baller! But we know who the real playa is.

Clothes Call: Eames' and Rogers' lobs (long bobs). The handkerchiefs that Claudia uses to tie back the curtains in her bedroom. The hot pink velour track suit and pigtails of Liv of the "mad" group sex parties. Bishop's all-black ensemble. 

Quotable:

Bishop:  I passed the photos of the marina employees around. No one saw them at St. Brendan's.
Eames: Well, they'd have been there if St. Brendan's had happy hour.

Eames: [to Bishop; smiling fondly at Goren] Want me to stick a dart in him?  

Goren: Well, they got [the same S.T.D.] from the same girl.
Rogers: Unless toilet seats and doorknobs are making a comeback.

Tina: He wants us to meet him.
Claudia: Now? But it's late. My dad's still up.
Mean Girl Carolyn: Oh, unclench, Claudia.

Goren: Little bastard.

Goren: Oh, Look! Look! Bing! Reality!

Goren: [delayed, after Connie slaps him and they wrestle around, obviously not hurt] Ouch.

A Murderer Among Us 3.7

My Netflix sleeve is surprisingly detailed. It calls Goren "mercurial" and warns us about Eames' surrogacy and his "newbie partner." 

In theory, since it's been a while since I attended to this blog, I should backtrack to "Pravda" and "Stray" to get back into the swing of things but ... Bishop. *shudders* No, I can't. I just can't. If you haven't been keeping track, we still got 5 more episodes to trudge through (and she's only the first of MANY red headed we're gonna meet in this series), so let's get on with it.

CI has a love affair with red heads and this Claire is in EVERYTHING. Name a show, she’s been on it. Most notably, since the holiday season is upon us, Hallmark’s Annie Claus is Coming to Town. I have it on dvd, no lie.

Speaking of red heads, I’ve been spelling Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers’ name wrong for forever.

Blonde detective man thinks it a cut and dry case of spousal murder. At the very least, he serves his purpose of explaining why this is even a CI episode. The husband was involved in some rigging thing, we don’t know.

sigh Add ‘boats’ to the list of things Goren knows too much about ...

But he still knows nothing about girl things cuz now that Goren no longer has Eames, our resident expert in all things girl, Bishop gets one in on him, and it’s a good one. Feelin' all cocky now, she scoops up the medical report right out from under his hand. It’s girls vs boy in the morgue. 

Eames is all cozy and maternal with Goren in these episodes, hanging around the Plaza, gazing cutely at him across their desks while he concentrates away. Eames seems to be liking their new set-up. Goren's antics are cute when you're not responsible for him. Bishop falls under Goren’s spell right before Eames’ eyes and ditches their girl's night.

Nothing against red heads but, statistically, there can’t possibly be this many red heads together in the same room this often.

Awwww. Lonely people in an old age home. Visit & call your parents, everyone! NOW!

I don’t know, Goren, you’re making some pretty serious leaps of the imagination this case.

Goren’s so busy jerking poor Annie Claus back and forth between her parents he almost trips over Bishop as Annie un-parallel parks. Goren says “us” referring to himself and Bishop and Bishop almost wets herself with happiness.

Goren emotionally and almost physically assaults the widower at his place of work. Carver plays his usual bad cop and Deakins paper pushes.

Geez, you flash a detective badge nowadays and can get any information you want … pharmacy, library (we’ll see this in the next episode). Scary.

Bishop blurts out a big murder epiphany right in front of a civilian Goren is trying to question. She hasn’t mastered the Eames murmur. Goren has to visibly pause, take a deep breath for patience, turn, take her arm, and lead her out of ear shot. Rookie. When the civilian, who now knows too much, asks questions, Goren has to give her an obvious look-hint Go away now. Bishop pretends to be distracted by something shiny and wanders away.

What a weird episode. Is anti-Semitism still a thing? Why?

We hear about another of Goren's friends: Steven from Princeton, a linguist. Bishop is very tired.

Clothes Call: Eames’ baby bump. Goren’s hot anger in a suit while swinging a lead pipe.

Quotable:

Bishop: He killed her over a toy boat?
Goren: Yeah, men, they get very attached to toys.

Goren: She was defending herself.
Bishop: You mean defending herself like a girl. What if she was defending herself like a boxer?
Rodgers: Score one for the new kid.

Bishop: If it’s alright, I’d like to go with you.
Eames: Sure, you can carry me up the stairs.

Eames: [hearkening back to our Dynamic Duo's cases of yore] sigh If it’s not cars, it’s boats.

Goren: There’s something stuck in the rigging.
Eames: Oh, how exciting. Well, I’m off to the D.A.’s office.

Bishop: We’re gonna go look for it, aren’t we?
Goren: [in a ‘duh’ voice] Yeah.

Suite Sorrow 2.12

Can you believe I forgot 2.12!? How did I do that? Goren even snaps a Polaroid of him and Eames to remember this case by! 

A woman I'll call Mother May I? opens the show. (The term Cold Opening truly does refer to this woman.) But she's just about out-colded by the man in the yellow tie.

Amy Ryan! Hello! You're adorable in The Office ... you are less adorable here.

Ok, Mother May I?'s name is Nan. Which is actually better than my sassy made-up name for her.

Nan's flower bouquet is the brightest thing we've ever seen on CI. Best not to draw too much attention to yourself in such a way, Nan ... your 'bright light' gets snuffed out minutes later.

Goren knows A LOT about drowning, but Eames, our expert on all things lady, knows a little about Botox. Don't worry, Eames, nobody's drawing conclusions!

Eames admires Nan's pinata bowl of meds.

Cooper, the "House Dick" (his words, not ours!) bursts in on our dynamic duo's crime scene! Goren throws his hands up in the air and immediately looks at Eames. Nan's husband has a 20+ year weekly poker night ... sounds like a purposefully tight alibi to us! Goren is visibly agitiated over what Nan's hubby uses as a letter opener. It belongs in a museum!

Goren and Eames just learned too much about Amy Ryan's sex life. We learn the difference between inferring, implying and speculate.

Goren's pretty low-key about the whole case. Don't get me wrong, the brain is a-firin' on all cylinders. It's so nice to jump back in time and watch Season 2 Goren. Such a young man, with so few life problems. It's nice watching him solve a case without all that heavy baggage! He looks so handsome and carefree! Still adorably Asperger's-y (I don't mean that in an offensive way, we're just getting close to the Wally Steven's episode, so I'm getting excited.)

Goren, don't refer to Rogers as "the ME"! That's so impersonal! 

It's Salvatore from Mad Men!!! We'll actually see him later, post-Mad Men, in Season 10!

Eames crashes a Botox party and cuts in line. Rich ladies admire her skin in a super creepy way. No. Then she does the super rude thing of arresting the Botox injector, Jason! I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would object! 

Goren injects his notebook with Botox and takes over Nan's husband's desk.A three year old check makes GE giggle. Riding the high, Goren makes a funny, but can't get the stuffy banker to laugh. GE huddle in his office, discussing motive, lost in each other, then look back at the banker like, "oh, you're still here?"

Amy Ryan says mean things to GE, and Goren's about to defend them, but Eames is always faster with the quippy comebacks. Goren gets more animated here, picking up and moving Amy's tchotchkes, and we know exactly what that's all about! Classic Goren, unnerving the interrogatee! Goren calls sex, "taking a tumble" and makes Amy super mad! GE don't feel bad though cuz they happily bring her and her fiancee new engagement rings ... handcuffs!

But it's not over yet folks! Carver and juries like straight lines, so welcome back the "House Dick." Goren and Jimmy Deakins laugh at House Dick's lame jokes, but Eames is doing the grilling here and isn't even pretending to be amused.

Goren takes a selfie of him and Eames and pockets it.

I take back everything I said about happy Season 2 Goren. This case gets real weird, real quick. Look, in my own life, I know what it's like to have your judgement, your sense of security, undermined by your own parents. And ends with Goren sending a not-ready Amy to confront her conniving father, who she kills. Eames tries to snap him out of it, but Goren is already having a nervous breakdown.

Clothes Call: Eames' long maroon coat and flower print blouse (which she actually gets to keep on for multiple scenes!) Amy Ryan's brown plaid jacket in what is an entire wardrobe of drab clothes, Goren's colorful shiny tie in Jason's interrogation. The 3 piece suit on the trust fund guy. Eames' surprising leather trench on the courthouse steps.

Quotable:

Goren: Botox works by paralyzing the nerves around the facial muscles, doesn't it?
Eames: Does it look like I'd know?

Eames: Xanax, Ambien, heart pills. A real pinata bowl.

Goren: Not only does he remove hairs, but he splits them.

Banker: The name of the payee?
Goren: Well, we only have the first name. Junker, with a J. [at the banker's look] Just be happy his name isn't Messerschmitt.

Goren: Well, what's one check when you can marry the checkbook?